Thursday, December 9, 2010

Worst Poem Challenge

So, I was chatting with a friend the other day and we were talking about writing. I minored in Creative Writing at Presbyterian College and I feel ashamed because I haven't written anything lately. My friend and I swapped stories of contests; at PC it was the erotic short story contest and at her college it was the worst poem challenge. So I took the liberty to write two short terrible poems.

The first, of course, has to be about Limoges.

Ode to Limoges
Oh, Limoges
You are indeed an aquarium
Many fish you have
Many fish you lack
You swim because you are the fish
The one with the big fin on its back
You have false coral and invisible walls
Which makes the inhabitants confused
You are the fish
You are the tank
You are--the Aquarium

Oh goodness, and if that didn't pain me enough, I wrote another of one of the greatest clich├ęs of all time.

Beauty as a Rose
Your face is like a rose
Cheeks rouge
Stem slender but with thorns
Every beauty has her thorns
But yours seem less sharp
Worth the pain to
Caress your supple petals
Supple, ripe, beautiful
Your nose is the center
Perfectly symmetrical
And your red hair I need not compare,
For it is obvious
You are my rose
It sucks that your name is Violet

No lie, that was kinda fun. Any other terrible poems out there? Share!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Everyday French

So there are quite a few phrases here in good ole France that I knew existed, but are used much more than French 1 taught me.  And I suggest to anyone coming to France to get used to these phrases, they are so helpful in everyday conversation.

  1. ou autres choses comme ca--or other things like that                                This is amazing when you're saying anything that has to do with examples.  I cannot tell you how invaluable this phrase is.  
  2. ou quelque chose comme ca--or something like that                                  This is really helpful when you're asking for something or when you're trying to explain something.  Especially when you're talking about ideas, this is really helpful.
  3. je ne sais pas--I don't know                                                                     Pretty self explanatory but usually it gets slurred together by the French and end up sounding like "shaypah."  I have used this so many times when someone asks for directions.  I've only been here a month people, I do not know street names.
  4. du tout--at all                                                                                                 This is good to use with any negative statement to emphasize that it completely negative. Just add it after the 'pas' in the statement.
  5. vraiment, tellement, vachement--really, seriously, truly                              This signifies importance, always used.
  6. je pense que--I think that                                                                              To state your opinion
  7. Donc, alors, en faite, en plus--Thus, moreover, therefore                     These are good transition phrases
  8. Selon a--according to                                                                                   This is really good when you are talking about anything to do with opinions. To state when someone thinks something.
  9. Il faut que--it is necessary                                                                           Use this when you need to do something, you should use the subjunctive after, but if you use present tense people will understand.
  10. J'arrive a comprendre--I arrive at comprehension.                                     This is actually pretty funny, because the French never 'don't understand.'  They might not arrive at comprehension but they never don't understand.   They do not say "je ne comprends pas" ever.  It must be a French thing, in no way would it be possible that they don't understand something.  If something is confusing it is because of you, not them.
  11. Qu'est-ce que c'est--What is                                                                      You'll use this a lot.
  12. truc--thing                                                                                                     This is one of the most important words to know.  If you don't know what something is, use the word 'truc' for it.  Seriously, best word ever to know.
So there is is, some of the most useful things you can know in the French language.  I think my favorite is 'truc.'