So, the two main men in my life dropped me off about 10 minutes ago. I teared up as I said "see ya later." For those of you who saw me after graduation, you might not know why now was a time to cry and then wasn't. Well, it's pretty simple actually. I'm scared to death... Just now was the first time that I have ever checked in, if that's the term to use, by myself at an airport. Aw hell, it's my first flight by myself. Yay.
I walked into the airport, not knowing really what to do. Luckily a wonderful woman named Lynda who works here helped me through the check in process, where my bag weighed in at 49.5 pounds, just a mere .6 left to breathe. Suddenly glad I left those BCBG heels, but not really. And then I realized, when I come back, I have to do this in another language. Yay.
Then I went to the bathroom. My bladder was about to explode from that last glass of good ole southern sweet tea that I had at Taco Casa before arriving at the airport. Finally, I proceeded to Concourse A, going through the security check. I didn't beep. Yay.
And now here I sit. I see so many people doing just what I'm doing. A man playing on his i-phone, a woman searching for mints in her bag, a 30-something couple reading a newspaper together with their legs sitting crossed atop a silver and black utilitarian table; all just sitting, waiting, for their flights. And for some reason, I keep expecting something profound to happen or something groundbreaking to pop into my head. Perhaps Morrie would show up and I would have a very enlightened Tuesday. Alas, nope.
But one thing did come to me, among all the scary thoughts and worries I have in my head, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Sounds silly? Not really. First you must understand my love of Buffy. I have every season and am collecting the comics as we speak. I adore her tenacity, vivacity, spunk, and one other thing--her ability to overcome anything. I mean, c'mon, she defeated a crazy demon Frankenstein thing, saved the world from multiple apocalypses, she fought a god from a crazy hell dimension, she defeated the very first evil, she fought countless vampires and won, all the while fighting her own personal demons. So, basically, we're very similar...
So you can see how I thought of her in all this. My world is being turned upside down, a lot like hers (just in different ways). Rather than fighting a destructive Fyarl demon, I am battling my worries, the little part in my brain that says "hey, listen to me while I think of the worst possible scenarios that could happen."
And then in true Buffy fashion, I decided to stand up (not literally, that would just be weird right now). I am standing up to my fears. Just like in the season four Halloween episode. Do you hear that, fear? You're just a tiny little demon that I can squash with my little human foot.